18 December 2003
Things to do with a Climbing Gimp.
- Take all items listed in Gear List and place them into one backpack (including ropes).
- Strap to back of Climbing Gimp.
- Make Gimp carry backpack up the grade 5 ascent path in the dark wearing Tevas.
Why every climbing group should have a Climbing Gimp.
Do you often find there are some routes that everyone wants to lead, and no-one wants to second?
Do you often wonder who you can get to second the route to retrieve all the gear?
Don’t bother.
With your very own Climbing Gimp you need never have this problem again.
"Why?" You ask? "How could this problem be overcome?"
Here’s how.
Once everyone has successfully led the route, simply send up your Gimp on lead to the top. Once he gets near the top and past the last piece, refuse to let out any more slack, and begin to slowly take in the rope. Instruct your gimp to down-climb the route, removing the gear as he descends. Five minutes later, you have all of your gear back, and no-one has had to go through the menial task of seconding.
"Does this work in all conditions?" you ask?
The answer is an emphatic “YES!”
Recent testing by climbing behaviourists (Turner, S., & Cree, T., 2003) have shown that this technique is reliable even when the route has a roof, layback manoeuvres and is performed in darkness. Your gimp may complain that due to the overhanging nature of the route and the darkness that he can’t see where to put his feet, however testing also shows that given time your Gimp will return to the ground one way or another.
How a Gimp can exact revenge.
- “Forget” to bring the guide book.
- When conversation turns to what would be a nice easy route to follow up the previous pumpy grade 21 route, suggest a nearby climb that you insist is a great route that everyone climbed clean on top rope when you had just started climbing outdoors.
- Add comments like: “I think it’s got a star rating,” and “all you do is follow the crack, it’s got great pro, just take the cams,” or: “well, we all climbed it clean when we were first climbing, it’s only a 16, and easy for the grade.”
- Suggest that someone else lead it first, seeing as you led the last one.
- Sit back and enjoy the show as they find out that the holds that looked great from underneath are a lot more slopey than they first appeared, and all the cracks are flaring.
- The next day send a text message saying: “Well, how silly am I? That climb turned out to be a 17, not 16! How could I have gotten that mixed up? Sorry about that.”
Nasssty, tricksy Gimp.
11 December 2003
Quang opened
the evening with a clean lead of Clea Direct (15), a route which had rejected
him a couple of weeks earlier (prior to the sandbag on Dropout). This time he
took his trusty no. 3 and 0.5 cams that were required to protect the approach
and roof section at the top of the route.
Quang said that after leading Dropout the previous week, Clea Direct was no
longer as intimidating as it had been. See Quang? I wasn't Sandbagging you, only
helping you to realise your full potential and put your fear into perspective
:-)
Next, Adam led Living on The Ceiling (21), an intimidating roof with no pro before the half-way mark. Although TRAD pro was used, Adam pre-placed the gear on abseil, but was still more than happy to bag the ascent.
Finally, Mark showed that his climbing skills are really improving by seconding Muesli (15) clean. Known for it's pumpy overhanging nature, and reputation for rejecting lead ascents, Muesli is no easy second for the grade either as the lay-back nature means that you must pull into the crack and hold while you remove gear. Mark was quick in sending the route too, taking less than five minutes, which may have had something to do with wanting to finish while there was still something more than moonlight to light the way.
Stop Press....
Geez! The truth police have been out in force! I have been instructed to add that it didn't take Mark too long to second Muesli because I had only placed two pieces for the route so there wasn't much to clean.
picky picky picky
No sign of Dr Nick this week, apparently the Junkets to Barcelona are more appealing than our company. It will probably be Grange Hermitage at Ayer's House next week (very expensive wine at a very expensive venue for those unfamiliar with South Aussie Fine Cuisine).
Congratulations must go to Tom; after taking out third with Stewy a couple of weeks ago in a 12 hour Mountain Bike endurance race, and second with a South Aussie team at a 24 hour event in Victoria, he backed it up by taking second in the first race of the local Mountain Bike racing season last night (10 Dec). Lazy bugger said he was too tired to climb the following night though..... oh well, we can't all be tough I guess. Soft Tom, soft.