24 June 2004
Okay, my computer is working again, sorry for the delay in posting.
Hmmmm, not much happened tonight, it was just Gump, Miriam and Adam. Andy was lighting Bushfires (busy denying some poor schmuck a research grant), so was Quang (something about having to help Angela get the house ready for her 30th Birthday Party - Happy Birthday Angela! *cough*underthethumb*cough*)
Nope, not much happened at all, I pulled down Tom's pants while we both stared up at Megan's bum, and then Meg and I danced instead of belaying Tom while he led the roof at the gym. It wasn't our fault, they were playing this funky retro music that made you just want to dance! Tom was a little concerned though when he looked down to see us both (me belaying) doing the twist, the swim, mashed potato and other classic dance moves, but he soon got into the act while hanging in space and started twisting too. Three little groovers we were, twisting away, one of us 12 meters above the ground. What a happy sight it must have been for anyone watching.
Andy met us for dinner at Hawkers Corner (so he wasn't a total Bushfire Lighter), where the funny little man who has been working there since Jesus was a boy once again tried to encourage us to steal beers from the fridge when the drinks people left.
17 June 2004
Mark made an appearance! A couple of people noticed that you never see Mark and Stewy in the same place, which has led to some speculation; Are Mark and Stewy one and the same? Is it like a Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde thing? (What experimental drugs could Dr Nick have prescribed for himself?) Or does Mark just not like Stu? Or has Mark been kept locked away writing a PhD? Hmmm he was looking a little pale today, maybe from a lack of sunshine. I like the last one, I think that Stu has had to let Mark go, seeing as he was already over his baggage limit, and might have to write the damned thing himself! I can just hear the complaints from Stewy’s back shed now:
“But I don’t know anything about medicine, how can I write your PhD?”
“Neither do I! Just get back to work Mark!”
So, Marky Mark was back out tonight after a long absence, and he climbed like a man on fire! Lots of screaming, red in the face, huffing and puffing and sore as hell after!
Andy was out and poor old Bizarro did not like the routes that Gimp set this week. Oh no, just because I didn’t tell him about one crucial arête move he was all whiny: “It’s too reachy, I don’t like it, I’m only little you know.” Wah wah wah. He did however add an interesting new move to the Black “21” (Technical 19) by eliminating the big hold at the crux, nice one Bizarro!
Tom and Meg kept mainly to themselves, but JennyBob, (whom we’ve decided should also be called Miriam because of the BIG BALLS she showed lead climbing last week) did manage to curb that nasty temper this week as she worked on her project climb. Much nicer Meg, more lady-like. Tom found a nice route to do, a red climb eliminating the use of a couple of holds and natural features, real quality Tom.
Quang bought a new rope and rope bag this week, but did not bring it to the gym. Quang, there’s two words that are distinctly different, but should always be combined: Bought and Brought. If you have bought new climbing gear, then you are expected to have brought it along! Geeez! I am going to have to talk to Angela about teaching you the English language! Oh yeah and he did some climbing.
Adam and Mike spent most of their time conniving, producing some more eliminate climbs to coax the others up, and that was about it really.
Harvey, errr well, I’m not sure what Matt got up to, but I sure as heck know what he’s been doing at home. Apparently things are a little lonely at the Wallbanger house. And, well I’ll let Weird Al Yankovic do the talking for me: Click Here
Lucky the pets are still with the Missus Harvey!
13 June 2004
A quick jaunt to Onkaparinga
After helping Stu move the remainder of his possessions to a storage facility at Noarlunga, Tom Stu and I headed off to climb at Onkaparinga Gorge. Unfortunately, while eating a late lunch Tom realised that he was pushing his luck as it was getting late and he had a party to go to (the social life of Gump has been amazing since he climbed his hallway naked - except for a strategically placed bow-tie - at his 30th birthday party) leaving just Dr Nick and The Gimp to climb. Wobbling our way to McClaren Vale in my $100 station wagon (Tom discovered it's got a bulging tyre) I couldn't help but feel a sense of trepidation due to Stu's notoriety as the inaugural Golden Sandbagger combined with the fact that I had never climbed there before and we didn't have a guidebook with us.
"It's okay, I know my way around there - well enough." Stewy assured me.
"That's what I'm worried about." I thought.
So once there Stu suggested I lead climb a nice warm-up route that he and Tom climbed on top rope last time called Ouzo (15), suggesting that I take lots of small gear as he didn't remember seeing any large cracks. So all "Gimped Up" away I went. 5 metres, "any gear yet Adam?"
"No, not yet."
10 Metres, "Can you place anything yet? You're rather high."
"Yes, I know, but there's nothing." I said, looking at the obvious crux move.
"Can you place anything on another route?"
"Errrrr, nope. Just gonna have to go for it."
Needless to say I got up the bloody thing, all 22 metres without placing a single piece of gear, feeling rather exhilarated from my "warm-up" climb, set up a belay for Stewy and brought him up. "Hmm there wasn't much in the way, was there?" Stu asked when he got up.
"Grrrrrr."
Later I found out that Ouzo was not led until six years after its first top rope ascent, and that was with very small gear indeed. Apparently it doesn't receive too many leads now either, I wonder why. Oh well, I wonder how many onsight solos it's had?
Bacchus (14) was climbed on lead by Dr Nick, and what a lovely climb it is. Climbing guru Brandon has described it as the best 14 in the Adelaide hill, and I think he's right it's an absolute ripper at the grade, with GREAT PRO all the way (Stewy!).
Stu then sent The Gimp up Hard People (19). It has a runout start, which was obvious from looking at it, but what was not totally obvious was the exposed nature and interesting moves above limited (but secure) gear. It was a lovely climb, with a great crux involving a left handed side pulling smear (pulling you off not on) and a desperate lunge while high stepping, above gear that was going to stop you falling but not planting against the wall below the small roof you had just gone through, followed by a runout face climb. Very nice indeed.
All in all, not a bad days climbing: 47metres for me, with three pieces of gear placed in total (two of them in the same spot to protect the crux of Hard People).
Go to Onkaparinga, you'll love it, great climbing and a fantastic view down into the gorge and river below.
Finally, I would like to wish Dr Nick a safe trip and good luck in London, where he will be working and living for the next couple of years as he looks to extend his experience in the various techniques associated with his specialisation in Cardiology. Good luck Stu, it's been great climbing with you (hell of a laugh too) we will all miss you.
While on the subject of SAS members (South Australian Sandbaggers - not a bad acronym huh? what about this for a motto: "Who dares Gimp?") I omitted to mention that Random, Ivor, has also moved to London to pursue his dreams over there. Good luck too Ivor it was always a bloody good laugh climbing with you, and fun watching the way you made impossible moves look easy. We miss you already, come back soon.
10 June 2004
Matt turned up to climb after a notable absence last week, ostensibly due to the fact that he needed greater entertainment than that offered in the personal ads of the local newspaper. To clarify, Matt (aka Harvey <wallbanger> following his habit of demanding “Who’s your Daddy” to the climbing walls as he thrusts himself them) commented a few weeks ago that he noticed a personal ad placed in his local paper by a lonely chap requesting the company of large (read chubby) men, the fatter the better. Harvey made no secret of the fact that he thought that this was absolutely hilarious, while I pondered the influence of extreme loneliness on a poor young man far from his home country with a wife living in another state.
So what did Matt get up to this week? He climbed a new black 21 route that has a few people guessing at how to do the crux move (The infamous no way that’s 21, more like technical 19 route). He belayed me up a couple of lead climbs, and then generally tried to slip under the radar. The only thing that sticks out in my mind really, is that he did not accompany us to Hawkers Corner for dinner, preferring I suppose to go home and check the action on offer in the local paper.
Megan and Tom came together, then got to the climbing gym shortly after, and set about the business of climbing. All I can say is, thank god it’s only Superman with heat vision! Otherwise Megan would have been burning holes in everything she looked at! It seems the little girl with the little curl right in the middle of her forehead was determined to be horrid, and my! What a temper we have when we’re miffed! As I made my way up a climb I found my attention drawn by a terrible commotion on the wall directly behind me; thinking someone had fallen and hurt themselves due to the sound of the thumps that I had heard, and the ensuing silence that accompanies the diversion of everyone’s attention to a single focal point, I turned to see what was going on only to witness what can only be described as a naughty little girl throwing an horrendous tantrum! There was JennyBob, dangling two metres from the ground kicking and thumping the wall, spewing forth every profanity under the sun at the rather startled looking wall, which had been trying to mind it’s own business and now found itself the victim of a terrible verbal and physical assault!
Mike Hilan led the white tagged climb, put up by the Gimp and confirmed at grade 21 by Bizarro two weeks prior, a bloody ballsy effort. He then tried to convince me to lead climb a combination of two routes graded 23 and 24c respectively, nice try Mike.
Tom then threw himself at the white tags finally managing to get up the route (with a couple of rests). On his way back down from the top, Tom managed to earn himself the Sprayer Award by loudly proclaiming that it wasn’t really that hard and not really 21! Interesting seeing he had to rest! Well done Gump. Gump by the way progressively improving, now finding project climbs in the grade 22 to 23 range.
Meanwhile, Dr Nick graced us with his presence for one last climb before setting off for London. After seeing the efforts of Tom on the white tags Stewy decided to give it a go. Now, I don’t know what this says about our group, but we decide to have a new award based upon individuals big-noting themselves and telling everyone about how great they are, and it changes hands three times in the space of two climbing sessions! Tom had only just been awarded the Sprayer, and had only just untied when this little gem regarding Stewy’s chances of climbing the white tag route fell from the lips of the Good Doctor:
“Well, Tom climbed it and I’m a better climber than him!” Now, you would expect some form of contrition or attempt to qualify such a comment during the ensuing uproar this caused from all who heard, but no, not from Doctor Nick! He then went on to defend his remarks with: “What? It’s true, I’m only applying logic to the situation! I don’t see what the fuss is!” and that was it.
There was no ‘I’m sorry that didn’t quite come out the way I meant it,’ nope, Stu just stood firmly behind his comments and looked at us all as if we were mad for thinking anything amiss.
But wait, there’s more! Not only did Stewy pick up the Sprayer Award, he also managed to create a new move to add to one’s bag of tricks:
Climbers, have you ever failed to climb a route because of one or more pesky little moves that you just can’t seem to get? Have you been trying to move up through the grades but just can’t seem to get your lard arse up anything harder than getting off your couch? Worry no more! Bring those 33 and 34 graded climbs into your range with one easy technique! You don’t need to spend hours upon hours honing your body to the image of fat free perfection, nor develop tendons of steel or the tenacity of a limpet, no! This little wonder is all you need! Say hello to the Assumed Move! Yes that’s right viewers, the Assumed move is the latest climbing technique developed by the scientists at Dr Nick’s Laboratory of Climbing Delusions! Fast learn and easy to use you need never spend hours of wasted time on personal improvement again! With the Assumed Move all you need to do is this: Climb past the hard move using adjacent holds on an easier route, and then once you are past the crux or troublesome move, get back on route and continue up the rest of the climb. Now, that’s not all, oh no, there is etiquette to consider, in order to successfully complete an assumed move you must then call out “Let’s just assume I did that move.” And there you have it folks! A foolproof way to make sure you can climb that grade 35 project you were thinking of starting! Become the best climber in your neck of the woods, try the Assumed Move today!
The rest of the night seems rather boring by comparison, but there was one other point which needs to be mentioned, and that is WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH JENNYBOB? Megan’s average grade for clean climbs is grade 15. This week she lead climbs a 14, but not on just any wall, oh no, the one where falling means landing on some big holds that will do some serious damage! Let me tell you, I led this wall just a few minutes earlier and it was intimidating! A fall would be serious!
3 June 2004
Only three of us out there at the gym tonight, but there was movement at the Station!
Only Two at Hawkers! (More on that later)
No Quang, Bushfire lighter!
No Meg, Bushfire lighter!
No Matt, Bushfire lighter!
No Stewy! I'd call him a Bushfire lighter, but he would get up there and realise he had no matches.
Tom killed three people when he turned up at the gym and forgot to turn the laser beam on the front of his bike off!
Next on the agenda:
Last week The Gimp put up a route which both he and Andy agreed was a little ripper! Graded at about 21, it's sustained for the whole way, and has some great moves that really get you thinking. Even the start makes you stop and think. So we sat back and watched the tall boys, Tom and Mike Hilan try it out. Just minutes before Tom had been trumpeting about how being tall almost felt like cheating, how, wonderful it was to be able to just reach up and grab those holds that the shorter guys struggled to reach......Ha ha! All of a sudden the big boys were finding that being tall is not always an advantage! Gimp likes to set technical climbs, oh yes! Being tall cuts no ice with me boys! It was nice to see them having to think about how to get a hold instead of grinning madly up at me as they say "you should be able to reach that, I did!"
Now, on to some General Business; There is a new Golden Sandbagger, and I am amazed and astounded to inform you that this sandbag occurred indoors! I never thought it possible indoors, but this Golden Sandbagger is a Master! Check the awards page for more.
We Also have a new Nailclipper (hmmm busy night) so check out the movement at the station on that one in awards too!
While we are on the subject of awards, we have a new one, the Spray Award (Or FIGJAM). This award goes to anyone found guilty of proclaiming to the world how absolutely fantastic they are. So look to the awards page for the winner of this one.
ANDY HAS GROWN! Last week, when I set the white tag climb, There one move which Andy had no chance of reaching, so he had to dyno to it. This week he just reached up and put his hand on the hold no worries! See Andy, if you eat your vegies you will grow!
Now this is a truly amazing story that had Andy and I dumbstruck.
We forgot to call ahead to Hawkers Corner for our food. Normally we get there at 10.00pm (they close at 10.00) and they have our food ready for us which they then allow us to sit down and eat while they clean up. Tonight, as we got there and were heading in the back door the people from the China Bar (Malaysian stall) were walking out on their way home. When they saw Andy and I they turned around, went into the back room, got out the ingredients, started up their kitchen again and cooked us our food! This was all despite our protests that they didn't have to, that we would just get something else! How bloody amazing is that? These people are just beyond belief. I challenge anyone to come up with another restaurant (not owned by someone you know) where two people can arrive at closing time, go in the back door as the owners are leaving and have them go back in and insist that they cook for you!